Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Sometimes the mood strikes me and I just want to get out and do - do what it is that I feel, stop sitting at a desk and working on things that aren't terribly important, just do what my heart desires. Go draw, go write, go dance in the rain, something...
But I realize, even if I go do those things, I still have to be the person who sits at this desk and gets those unimportant things done, and all I've done is delay coming back to it. There's such a thing as bills and credit scores that will always be there past when the feeling is gone.
Even if I pounced on that feeling like a wrestler putting on a half-nelson, I realize that I probably wouldn't know what to do once I'm out there, and the fear will confine me into other things I've already done. Suddenly that feeling would be lost just as surely as if I had sat at the desk, plus I'd have to explain myself, soaked and bewildered, to my coworkers.
But in my heart of hearts, for that one moment, it's the purest burst of passion that I have and I want to keep it, even though it makes the rest of the day drab and slightly uncomfortable like a hard chair or something in your shoe.
Because it reminds me that I'm alive, and I just might have more to give the world than I can accomplish sitting at a desk.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Do you ever wonder?

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
~Frank Herbert - Dune

We live in a prison of fear. Every day we are told what to fear for us, our families, our children. What would happen if there wasn't an undercurrent of fear in our society? Would we be lawless and amoral? Would we be kinder and more open? What would you do if you had no fear?